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Only Joking! My top 15 jokes for kids

I have been asking people to tell me their favourite children’s jokes and thought I would share some of my favourites here on my blog.

What’s sheep’s favourite sweet?  A chocolate baaaa

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug!

Why was 6 scared of 7?  Because 7, 8, 9!

What time do you need to go to the dentist? Tooth- hurty!

Knock Knock. Who’s There? Europe. Europe Who? No need to be so rude!

Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field!

Why can’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it’s two-tyred!

What do you call a three legged donkey? A Wonkey!

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot!

There are two mice in the airing cupboard, which one’s in the army? The one on the tank!

Why did Cinderalla get kicked out of the football team? She kept running away from the ball!

What do you can a dinosaur with one eye? Do-you-think-he-saurus

There are two fish in a tank, one looks at the other and says ‘Do you know how to drive this thing?’!

Shakespeare walks into a pub and the landlord says ‘hey, you’re Bard’

A man walks into a pet shop, he says ‘I’d like to buy a wasp’ The man behind the counter says ‘I’m sorry sir, we don’t sell wasps’. The man says ‘well you’ve got one in the window’.

Thanks to my family and friends for sharing their jokes and also @2016NewDad and @Mikes005 on twitter, you gave us a good laugh!

Have you got any great jokes to share?





You Baby Me Mummy
jaques 9

My Top 10 Days Out for Easter and a Chance to Win an Amazon Voucher

We have been working with a great new website, Wiki Places For Kids to share some of our favourite days out and have found some brilliant suggestions from other people.

When they asked us to team up with them and come up with a list of suggestions for family fun in our local area (Cambridgeshire, Bedfordshire and Northamptonshire) over the Easter holidays we got straight to work.

So many other schools seem to have broken up already and I are feeling quite jealous as we are still a week away from our holidays. Even so we are looking forward to visiting some of these places when we finally get there!

Great Days Out in Cambridgeshire, Bedfordshire and Northamptonshire

Stanwick Lakes

We have had a pass for Stanwick Lakes ever since I was a baby and it is one of our favourite places to go- especially when it is warm enough to get soaking wet in the sand and water play areas. It’s nice for a walk and has a great play area to run around it. There is an indoor play area and a café too. They often have other events going on too.

Salcey Forest

There are lots of different routes you can take at Salcey Forest including an awesome treetop trail and currently the Gruffalo Trail which we did the other week- my little brother and sister loved it!

Xtreme360 Trampoline Park

I recently discovered Xtreme360 for a friend’s birthday and it was brilliant. We had such a good time on the trampolines and I liked the fact there were different types. I am hoping to go back soon and my sister is desperate to visit. This is definitely on my list for a fun few hours.

Spy Mission

Spy Mission is an awesome place to visit with a couple of friends. I have been to a few birthday parties here and it is always brilliant. I would recommend this for children age 6 and upwards.


Twinwoods in Milton Ernest is just about the most amazing place you can go for any sort of adventure you might be looking for-you can do the climbing wall, drive in the race room, fly in the wind tunnel, surf, swim or go to the play area- there is something for everyone and I would love to go back and try surfing again.

Wood Green Animal Shelter

I really like visiting Wood Green Animal Shelter, it’s a great place for all the work they do with animals and it’s a nice place to visit too. Even if you aren’t looking to adopt an animal you can still have a look around- see the animals who are waiting to be rehomed, visit the maze and little playground and pop to the café. It’s a lovely place to have a walk around.

Wicksteed Park

We haven’t been to Wicksteed Park for a couple of years but now my brother and sister are both old enough to come with me I would love to go back. I really enjoyed all the rides there and have had a great time when I have been in the past.

Woburn Safari Park

For a bigger day out we really like Woburn Safari Park Even if it’s raining there is still plenty to see and as you do most of it in your car it doesn’t matter if the weather is bad. We spent ages watching the monkeys last time- they are so funny. I like the fact that you can drive round the actual safari park more than once if you want. There is also plenty of other animals to see when you get out of the car-we loved the penguins. We enjoyed riding on the swans on the lake too.

Laser Planet Milton Keynes

I went to Laser Planet in Milton Keynes with my friend a couple of months ago and we had a fantastic afternoon, we played team games and individual battles and got a score sheet after each game. It was really cool. You can go with friends or on your own and can either have one game or play for the whole day. If you like computer games this is awesome!

Daytona Milton Keynes

Daytona Race track is one of my favourite places to go. I love doing their Arrive and Drive sessions and have been a few times- I have raced against lots of different people and it’s great because you never know who you are going to be up against. It isn’t a long outing but it makes a great activity for a special treat.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about my favourite local days out. If you are looking for inspiration in your own area then you can visit Wiki Places for Kids for some brilliant ideas.


In the meantime we have teamed up with Wiki Places for Kids to offer our readers the chance to win a £20 Amazon Voucher- check out the rafflecopter form for details.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

jaques 9

Dreaming of Sunshine!

It’s lovely now we are starting to see some signs of Spring and the sunshine again and it’s really nice to be able to go out without getting wrapped up in coats and wellies but it has made me dream of going on holiday.

We were supposed to be going to Belgium next weekend for a little break but unfortunately because my Dad has been quite unwell my parents decided to cancel it to be safe, although I have been told we will be doing something else just as fun instead, it does mean I won’t be getting to build a sandcastle just yet.

I love visiting different places and am really wanting to go on a plane which we haven’t done yet. There are so many different places I would like to go to- my Uncle travels a lot and I love to hear about the places he has visited.


I got myself a Lonely Planet travel journal to keep notes in when we go away and it’s really cool, but I am saving it for a big trip before I get started. My Mum brought another one so we could give it away to one of our readers who also loves to travel- to try and win a copy you can enter below- we’d really love to hear about the place you like most in the world, whether it’s somewhere for sunshine or something colder… maybe I can add it to my list of places to visit.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

jaques 9

The best (and worst!) things about being a big brother!

I am getting excited because we will have a new baby cousin any day soon. I quite like babies, especially when they don’t wake me up with their crying in the night. Unfortunately though my cute baby sister grew into an annoying little sister and my cute baby brother became a tantrum throwing toddler- although they both have a few good points sometimes!

I know you don’t get to choose whether to have younger siblings or not but I thought I would list some of the best and worst points about being a big brother for my little cousin before his baby sister arrives!

10 things that are good about being a big brother

  1. You can boss them around!
  2. Being able to play with toys that you have probably really outgrown
  3. You can read them your favourite stories
  4. You can help them learn how to do things…like walk and talk and cause trouble!
  5. Sometimes you can encourage them to try things they might not otherwise have done- my sister plays hockey now because she liked coming to watch me play when she was small.
  6. If you are the older one you get to stay up a bit later
  7. You are allowed to do a few more things at times
  8. When they are babies they get all excited when they see you and kick their legs!
  9. It’s really cute when they smile at you- Lottie smiled at me first out of everyone and we were the first people Sam laughed at.
  10. They can be really funny and they say silly things.

The 5 worst things about being a big brother.

  1. They boss you around!
  2. Little brothers and sisters are very noisy
  3. They always want whatever you are playing with.
  4. You have to watch what they want to on T.V sometimes… but it’s always the same episode you have already seen.
  5. They think you are a climbing frame
    Cuddles with my brother when he was tiny!


    Mostly there are more good things than bad and most of the time I wouldn’t want to change them… except maybe when my sister and her friends are chasing me at school!


jaques 9

Cooking for Kids – Caramelised Bananas

Like lots of children I quite like cooking from time to time and love to make cakes and puddings.

I used to love this when I was a toddler and now I make it for my whole family- it’s really easy and my little sister can get involved.

Ingredients (serves 4)

3 large bananas
1 Orange (or a splash of orange juice)
25g unsalted butter
Ice cream to serve


Heat the butter in a large frying pan.

Chop the bananas into small pieces and add to the pan

Cover with a good squeeze of orange juice

Sprinkle with cinnamon

Allow to bubble until the bananas are soft and squishy and the sauce is thickened

Serve over vanilla ice cream


jaques 9

My First Football Match- Liverpool V’s Plymouth

My First Football Match: Liverpool V’s Plymouth

I finally got to go to my first Liverpool football game earlier this month. It was a birthday treat from my Godfather and I went with him, his son who is my friend but is a bit younger than me and my Dad.

I was so excited, I woke up really early and they picked us up at 8am. It’s a really long way too Liverpool but we arrived in plenty of time and found our way to the seats- they were really good ones, with a great view of the pitch.

It was a really good  football match (although my Dad said it was frustrating!) and Liverpool had a lot of possession. It ended 0-0 and they had to have a rematch later in the month. I was a bit disappointed that no one got a red card but my friend was excited because one of the players got taken off on a stretcher (he wasn’t hurt fortunately) but this was the most interesting part to him!

When the game was over we went and got a present for my sister and brother- Lottie now has her very own pink Liverpool scarf and Sam has a little bear which he takes to bed each night!

When we were leaving we were spotting footballer’s cars- we think we saw Daniel Sturridge’s and Nathaniel Clyne’s because of the number plates!

We then had a really long drive home but that was ok because we had plenty of snacks for the journey! I really enjoyed the game and would definitely like to go again soon- I am going to be practising my football skills too!

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My Favourite Adventures from Last Year

My Favourite Adventures from Last Year

The last few months have been quite tricky. My Dad has been unwell and we have had to miss and cancel certain events, days out and even a trip to France so at times things have felt quite miserable. However, reading back over my blog from the last year I realised just how many fantastic things we actually got to do in the last year. Hopefully we will be able to do more this year when he starts to get better again.

This is a quick round up of my top three adventures from the 2016- all of which I really hope to be able to do again this year if I am lucky enough to get the chance.

The Puy Du Fou

This is our absolute favourite family day out, and although we have been loads of times we never fail to have a fantastic time and are always looking forward to our next visit. Tucked away in the Vendee countryside in France you would never expect to find Vikings, Romans and wizards but that’s exactly what you get and much much more. 

We were annual pass holders last year and went several times during the Easter and Summer holidays- we saw all the amazing shows, visited the historical villages, experienced the WW1 trench, played in the water jets and got lost in the maze.

I have blogged about this amazing place in much more detail before here. I would recommend anyone who finds themselves in that part of France to pay a visit, ideally for more than a day if you can as there is so much to do.

Even better spend a night in one of their hotels and watch the amazing Cinescenie night show- this is what I would really love to do. We watched Cinescenie a couple of years ago and I would like to do that again but to stay in one of the hotels there too would be amazing! 

Tough Mudder and Fruitshoot Mini Mudder

This was an awesome adventure for my friend and me- we had an amazing time and loved getting muddy. We are both really keen to do this again this year and collect another sweatband! You can read all about our adventure here

I think I will get my Dad into training and so he can do the Tough Mudder adult version! 

This is quite possibly the best way to raise money for charity ever!


SportFest at Wormsley, Buckinghamshire

We have been to SportFest for the last two years and it is an absolutely fantastic way to spend a weekend for the whole family. You get to play sports and learn new ones with actual sporting legends. We had a whole weekend of amazing activities- a family run, a huge rugby game and a performance by the awesome RPJ band for the best concert. The food was great and the camping was fun. My highlight though was doing the conga across the cricket pitch led by Liverpool legend John Barnes! 

I would love to go back again, it was such an awesome weekend it would be very hard to beat. You can read all about our experience at SportFest here. We would all recommend this to any family (even my Mum who isn’t very sporty loves it). They even have a glamping option which looks awesome and very cosy and would mean you could get straight on with having fun.  

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A Belated Happy New Year!

A Belated Happy New Year!

I haven’t blogged for ages partly because I have been really busy with school in the run up to Christmas and partly because my Dad has been quite poorly so my Mum hasn’t had much time to help me. 

I wanted to write again this weekend though and try and get back into updating more often because I really like looking back and remembering things I have enjoyed.

Despite my Dad being ill over the last few months we still enjoyed a nice Christmas, although it was a bit quieter than we would have liked but still fun and I would like to wish everyone who reads this a very Happy New Year.

I haven’t really done any resolutions this year- more like things I would like to try and do, including blogging more often and learning a new sport.

Therefore, I thought this would be a good chance to review my 16 aims for 2016 and see how we got on, so here goes…

1. Help teach Sam to walk and talk…
Sam now walks and talks and is very nearly a terrible 2! His favourite word is ‘No’ but he does say it with a cheeky smile!

2. Play with Lottie more at school.
Hmmm, sometimes. She does still drive me mad by chasing me though.

3. Learn a new sport.
I thought volleyball would be fun but didn’t do that- I did start doing basketball on Tuesday mornings though. I have really enjoyed it and have taken part in a tournament and a holiday camp. I was very happy to win best team player of the camp and got a medal and basketball to keep.

4. Learn a new skill.
I have been learning lots of DIY skills this last year and have really enjoyed this- I have built furniture by myself and fixed a cupboard door among other things.

5. Learn a language
Sort of- my french is a little better and I can now sign Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer in BSL- I am sure that will come in very useful!

6. Use my telescope.
We have been rubbish with this- we probably only got it out once or twice last year. I will try and use it a bit more this year.

7. Use my metal detector.
I have not used this at all last year, I will never find buried treasure at this rate!

8. Go Camping
We did manage this one- we went camping at Sportfest and had a great time, although our new tent wasn’t very cosy and we were a bit cold!

9. Grow something.
We still didn’t do brilliantly with our vegetables but did manage to get a couple of tomatoes, a few strawberries and a ton of rhubarb so we will definitely try again this year!

10. Get on my bike.
I did manage to get out on my bike a bit more until my Dad became ill- we went around our local lakes quite a few times which I hope to do more once he starts to get better.

11. Go on a plane.
Sadly this still remains on my wish list. Something to keep hoping for this year perhaps!

12. Read the rest of the Harry Potter books
I have done this and was quite sad when I finished. It’s probably time to start again soon! I also enjoyed reading Fantastic Beasts and The Cursed Child but preferred the books to screenplay, although I would still love to see it at the theatre.

13. Watch all the Star Wars Films
Definitely did this! LOVE the new one- I went with 8 friends for my birthday and it was awesome!

14. Save my pocket money for something specific
I was very happy to do this and have now got some fab Star Wars LEGO and also the Base Ace set I got at BRICK 2016 which I had wanted for ages.

15. Do something for charity.
We did plenty of fundraising things with school and Dad and I also were volunteers at the local Race For Life- this was very hard work as one of the first ladies who came through broke her ankle and needed help.

I would like to do something like this again though, it was a really good atmosphere and I enjoyed being involved and cheering everyone.

16. Try something new.
My sister and I went to a cookery class in the Summer which was completely new for both of us, it was great. It was held in an Italian restaurant and we learned how to make a lasagne- my parents were very impressed with it. It was even better than my Mum’s- did you know the secret ingredient is nutmeg?!

Not too bad overall then but still a few things to cross of my list! Let’s hope 2017 brings lots of chances to do plenty of fun things for everyone.

sparkling trails of light drawing out the numbers 2017 in glowing light to welcome in the new year
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Brick 2016 Review- A great day for LEGO fans

If you have been reading for a while you might remember that last year we had a really good day out at Brick Live. As you can imagine I was very excited to be invited back to attend the 2016 show and is was great knowing a bit more about what to expect this time.

We arrived a little while after the show had started and got in very quickly. We were immediately greeted by some amazing LEGO. There was Halloween LEGO set, a huge Scooby Doo, loads of train tracks, villages and Lottie’s favourite- a huge Beauty and The Beast set. We spent ages looking at the amazing things the master builders had made and then went off and started joining in the fun  ourselves.



Lottie and I made LEGO houses to put on the map of the UK,  designed cars to test on the speed ramps, joined in with making a Giant pumpkin and a huge mosaic picture, all before diving into the huge LEGO pits to build whatever we wanted.

We then moved to the back of the show were all the stalls were and where we discovered the most amazing  model ever- a massive copy of a DFDS ship-it was awesome!

I asked the lady if they were going to make small versions to buy but she thought they wouldn’t be able to – I really hope the do though. They could sell them in the ships restaurants and reception and it would make our journey to France go much quicker.

Once we had admired the ship and done some colouring we went to have a look at what the retailers were selling.

There was literally everything a LEGO fan could ever want to buy- t-shirts, jewellery, limited edition LEGO sets and even bedroom furniture!

ome really amazing things there – we really liked the 3D Funky Faces people who can make you a LEGO version of yourself- these were awesome. They looked like they should feel squidgy but were actually hard and are proper LEGO people. We are definitely saving up for these!

I also loved the Base Ace 3D Play Platforms which we mentioned last year- I had been saving my pocket money so I was finally able to get a set.

This is such a great way to play with  figures and vehicles and lets you create allsorts of games- I have had some amazing battles with mine! I am hoping to convince my sister to spend her pocket money that she has saved on a different set and then we can get an extension kit to connect the two. I don’t know how her LEGO friends characters will survive against an invasion from my Stormtroopers though!

It was nearly time to go home but there was just enough time for Lottie to go and learn a dance routine with the LEGO friends, which she loved doing.

Once again BRICK was an awesome day out- we all had fun, played lots, built loads and came home with some fab stuff too! If you get chance to go to the next one it is a great day out for LEGO fans of any age.

That painful moment when you step on a LEGO Brick!


jaques 9

Ready, Steady, Dough Swirly Whirly Sweets Review

Ready, Steady, Dough Swirly Whirly Sweets Review

We had quite a busy half term but at the end we were all struck down with coughs and colds and decided to have a quiet day at home doing Arts and Crafts. This can sometimes be a bit tricky as it can be difficult finding something we can all do together with me being 8, Lottie 5 and Sam being a toddler who is keen on wrecking things.

The Entertainer must have known though because at lunchtime there was a knock on the door and a large parcel arrived- the lovely people there had kindly sent us a big Ready, Steady Dough Swirly, Whirly Sweets set to review.

I hadn’t played with this sort of thing for quite a while but Lottie was keen we got started straight away so while Mum put Sam up for his nap I got the instructions out and started putting it together. It was really straightforward to set up and I had it ready in no time so we were soon able to get started using the set.

The main sweet machine allowed you go push the dough through and it turned a thick tube of dough into a neat balls, you can do it as plain or we preferred to mix it togethed make them multi coloured. You can then leave these as ball shaped sweets or use the presser to make them into sweets that are like a box of chocolates.


After this we used the icing piece which made a long straight very thin piece of dough- we like this because if you kept putting dough in before you pulled it off you could make it really long! We used these long pieces to wrap together and stick on the sticks to make lollies. There was also plates and knives in the set so you can make your own design and set them up.

I think the set would make great Christmas present for children slightly younger than me- I enjoyed it far more than I expected to and found it quite fun to roll out dough and make shapes, but my sister absolutely loved it. When Sam woke up he joined in too- he was too heavy handed for the sweet machine as we were worried he might break it but he loved rolling the dough and using the icing bit so I think this set is perfect for 3 to 6 year olds but will also be enjoyed by children who are both younger and older.

Thanks The Entertainer, we had a lovely afternoon trying the Ready Steady Dough Swirly Whirly Sweets set and actually all managed to play together without arguing!